13 January 2009

Finals

They start tomorrow. The anxiety is already over me, came after lunch today. I should've studied more, way more, I should've passed the re-exams in math, so maybe I would've got a higher grade, maybe more than 90%. Now that's out of reach for me. It might all be out of reach. Damn I feel stupid.

English first thing in the morning. 3 hours. 5 pages. About either Hamlet och Lord of the Flies. Think I'll stick to Lord of the Flies, don't really like Hamlet that much. In Lord of the Flies you can discuss things in another way, a more serious way, for me atleast. Remember that conversation I had with J soon a month ago, about just Lord of the Flies, and how we started talking about how countries are like teenagers. At first they try to be good, faithful to their parents. Then grow up, revolts, have their fights. Finally they hopefully settle down when they are grown up. USA is a teenager, always getting into fights. Sweden is an adult, staying out of fights, but still taking care of the kids when they come home bleeding. Just like a parent.

Got the math final on thursday afternoon, I should study, so I pass it, so I get a good grade on it, so I atleast get 85% or above as my final grade. And if I then do good in physics, and don't get any lower in english, art and drafting, I might make an average above 90%. And that would make me happy, that would make me feel good about myself. 'Cause right now there's really nothing that makes me feel good. I feel like a mean bitch, maybe because I am one. I'm not really doing anything good, nothing to help anyone else. And not doing anything to help me either. Eating junkfood, not studying, not getting the sleep I probably should get (3 hours/night is standard, and then around 3 hours after school as well), not doing any workout. But I might do that tomorrow. I've got a pair of runners now. I need to do the workout. Probably would be good for me to do the punching as well, get rid of some agression. Maybe I'll be a nicer person after that.

And see there, another long and uninteresting post. I'm a little too good at making them.

But I acctuallt did finish the Hamlet-assignment last night, and handed it in today. Only almost a month late, not too bad, right?

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