Update.

Provocation

Understand me.

Darling,

I love you.

Destructivity breeds creativity

Viktor.

Forget that it ever was anything between us, will you please?

24 hours ago.

24 hours ago I decided to go for a walk.

23 hours ago I still hadn't found anyone who wanted to walk with me. I walked alone.

22 hours ago the city was waking up.

16 hours ago I came back home.

14 hours ago it stood clear how I still feel about parts of my so called family.

Then I went to sleep.








Mist is cozy. End of discussion. And I met a hare :)

Land of the Living Skies

It's a month since I left.

Much has happened since.

I miss all of you guys.

I even miss the goddamn sand blowing around everywhere.

Take care over there, ok?

Love you.

Top of the Iceberg.

So. Let's see...

I've talked things through a bit with V, though he might still have to realize that some things are not they way he thinks they are. And from how he's responded to some things, what he thinks would work for him is not gonna work at all. I think Jealousy is the word. It's also a great song by Bryan Adams...

Either way.

Met R yesterday (the day before yesterday to be precise), played some games of Magic, and the conclusion is that my fishies are quite awsome. It was also hell of a thunderstorm that day, it lasted for hours and hours. But when we left the gaming store it soon stopped raining, and I had not to worry about having my hair ruined. Very handy. The evening went on with tea, talking and walking (and some playing and planning with whips).

Today I made a strawberry cake, and forced H to come over and eat it with me ^_^ He also managed to get a photo of me while painting. I look like... as if I'm having the day off from everything? Walked around in a military shirt all day, one's got to love them.

In the kitchen, painting. That easel is probably one of my best buys ever.

This is just the Top of the Iceberg.

Indeed it is.

Sweden.

So. Time for that update. (this is when you go "yaaaaaaaay!")

I came home the 25th of June, which is soon (in a week) a month ago, after flying through the states (Chicago). Can add that the last night in Canada was quite stressful, and that the worst thing I've ever had to do in my entire life is to walk out from that airport in Prince Albert to that tiny airplane that was taking me and my sister away. I cried. She cried. Everybody cried. And the airplane was delayed. Of course.

Chicago seen with a telescope lens from the airplane.

In Chicago me and my sister had to wait for 6 hours, so we decided we'd put ourself first in line at the luggage check-in and play Magic on the floor. The woman helping us at the service desk was quite suprised when she realised by the names in our passports that we were siblings, and not best friends.

Sisters. There's gotta be some resemblance?

Despite having to trade our awsome places by the exit by the wing (extra feet-space) to sitting between two toddlers, the flight from Chicago to Copenhagen was pretty good, after all they gave us a big bag of candy each as a thanks. Always something, and being Swedish we are happy as long as we get something extra out of it. We landed, mom, dad, one of our stepsisters and her boyfriend picked us up. And we drove home. All of a sudden one could drink the water in the tap, all of a sudden I could see my fishies without having to see them through a webcam. And I had my speaker-system for the laptop at my desk! (my laptop-speakers really suck)

Finally home.

Then I had 5 days of meeting people, attempting to realise I was in Sweden, etc etc. And to do a bit of unpacking, and then some more packing because the 30th we were leaving again, to Arvikafestivalen.

Arvika was great in some senses, got to see Depeche Mode, even though the best performance was made by Aesthetic Perfection, a band I really recommend. I bought my first (leagal) alcohol, danced so that I had camping-mud on the inside of my socks (my boots are totally wrecked now), and 2 out of 3 real festival nights I just didn't feel like doing anything (was in a pissy mood) so I just went to sleep. Probably due to the amount of stress that were on me. But overall it was good, and next year there's a few things I'll do differently. First off is to have more spending money, second off is to have more alcohol, third off is to live in a different camp.

Depeche Mode.


Depeche Mode.


The good night.


Aesthetic Perfection


My loyal boots survived without getting stolen this year.

Once home and restored again, me and my sister re-painted the kitchen. The day after we finished it, Ashley came and visited. It was great to finally meet him, and I hope he enjoyed his week here. We sat a lot in random parks with a cider or beer and a one-use-only bbq and marshmallows, and did some sightseeing as well, because we had to. He also brough home Salta Katten ("salty cat") for a friend who ordered him to. Any hockeypucks were not to be found.

Ashley and my good friend Rikard in the park.

Mallard in the pond in the park.


Cutest little chicken-thingie I've ever seen!


Sightseeing in Malmö.


On a bus with aircondition!


A friend's 18th b-day party bbq. Ashley and Sara.


Nice moon on the way home, I remember being drunk.


More sightseeing. The crypt of the catherdral.


The cathedral from the outside.


Goodbye, it was nice seeing you, come again soon! :D

And now, today, for the first time in around 1½ month, I've got time for myself. For myself only. No-one else. I need to breathe for a bit, to not care about others, to do what I want, to go for those walks in the middle of the night knowing I won't have to be up in the morning. I'll still be on the internet, ofcourse, but I don't want to meet anyone, I don't want to have to be nice to anyone. I've informed my family about this, and they understand and accept, for which I'm thankful.


I went for a walk earler today, to clear my mind, to get some air, to feel good and be alone with my music. It was quite windy at first, and a bit of rain too, but eventually it cleared up (atleast over half of my view it did). Every time I go for a walk, I usually walk along this gravel road, sometimes there's a jogger or someone with a dog, and it happens that a car drives by. But most of the time one can be alone there. I call it Memory Lane, though I know that is not the name, it's just that I've got so many memories there, and I think about memories while walking there. I walk up the little hill when the road comes to an end, and I sit on a stone not far from the wind generator. And I watch, losing myself in my mind.

Memory Lane.

Flowers of some kind, any suggestion as to which?

My new boots, Lundhags Ranger High


Self portrait.


View.

I should add that I've taken all pictures (except for the one of me and Ashley, that one my mom took), and that I have not edited them in any other way than to re-size them for the blog. Also, I'm completely in love with my telescope lens, Canon EF 75-300 (it's got bad reviews, but I like it).

Now I could go on and rant about my love problems. If it's even love. I'm thinking for him it might be lust rather than anything else. But the post is long enough without it.

And now I'm off for the time being.

Fuck you

Bitch.

I'm sick of this.

New shirt :)

I got myself a new shirt :)



And yes, it's crappy webcam-quality. My SLR is out of battery and due to the different contacts in Sweden and Canada, I've got to get an adapter in order to charge it... >.<

Proper update to come. Sometime. And Ashley is here now :D

Home.

I'm home now. Came home some days ago even.

Conclusion:

I hate saying goodbye.

I adapt very easy to the way of life home in Sweden.

My fishes have grown and are more beautiful than ever :D

Grad.

Been there. Done that. Got the Fine Arts Award ($100) as well :)


Early morning, pre-grad :)


Honors with Distinctions


Fine Arts Award :)


Class Of '09 :D


'cause I can be pretty too...


... but then again, that's boring ^_^


My corsage (spelling?) :)


Grand March :)

Finals.

So. Finals. I'm stressing out. Had English A30 and Wildlife Management today. I hope I did decently on both. Biology 20 tomorrow (today). Should've studied, but as usual I'm too lazy to. Went outside with my sister instead, and a camera, and a tripod, and apparently a bunch of mosquitos. I hate mosquitos.

Sister.

Me. Out of focus and with streetlights all over me.

Sister, again.

Tonight I'm way too cool to edit any pictures. Just for your information.

Biology. Diversity of life. Ugh. Kill me?

Tomorrow it's repetition for grad. I can't belive I graduate in 3 days. 2 days if I count today as tomorrow.

Help...

Last night

It turned out to be so much better than anyone expected. It was great. There's nothing like finding out that two of your circles of friends that have never met before get along great and can have a great time together. All that worriness and anxiety over nothing, I feel stupid but happy. I love you guys.

Now I want subway.

I don't need your empty talk

Stay away from me please.

Awards night

Somehow, I managed to end up on the Honour Roll With Distinctions.

And I got electives for Design 10/20 and Drafting....

I probably looked stupidly happy. But then again, maybe I was?


My tie is a little out of place. I need one of those needles or clips or whatever they are called.

Today is way too hot (20 celcius), and I've eaten way too much. Atleast I handed in the design stuff I needed to get in, always something, eh?

Joy.

My sister is here now. I'm happy. All of a sudden something blue came flying out of the arrival-people at the airport. We just hugged each other, and cried. I love her.

Update.

It's been a while, atleast for being me. I don't know how often people check back here anyways, so... :p

Internet's working again, yay for that!
It's June and I'm wearing turtlenecks and sweaters. Something is wrongwrongwrong.
It's fun to dissect things, but my biology class is driving me nuts. Maybe tomorrow I should just happen to slip and grab one of them with my pig-fetus-covered hands as a natural reaction...?

My sister will be here tomorrow as well *happydance*
It's funny, how little we speak when we live in the same house, but now when on different continents we talk a lot, and I acctually miss her. A lot. As in I'm almost starting to cry tears of happiness when I think about that I'll meet her tomorrow. For the first time in 296 days. That's a long time, I'd like to point out. Around 9½ month.

As of now I've got two more days of school, then 3 days of final exams, then 1 day of grad. My graddress is right now having some beadwork done to it (those bastards are good at falling off!), I've got my shoes, and today we went and ordered those flower-thingies (one for my wrist, and one for my escorts suit), they are very pretty, yellow and purple and mine is a little dangly and stuff :)

Either way, this is what I'll wear for the cap and gown-part, aka the grad ceremony (I'll also wear the cap and gown... No-one looks good in that cap! And ignore that I look naked without makeup and necklaces...):


I don't know yet how I'll wear my hair, as of right now I've got 3 ideas. Either fluffy with little hairclips that looks like tiny diamonds spread over the hair, or kinda combed to the side (as I had it before) with a fancy hairclip in it (it's really pretty), or a mohawk:



And oh, my fishie that was sick is now dead :(

Either way, I should do some reading and book review writing, and then some math (even though I got 87% on my last test without studying or listening in class)...

2 weeks from today I'm in Winnipeg, on my way home. Time's been going so fast I can't belive it.