More oils

Because I can.

Oils!

More than two years since last time, and once I got at it I realised how much I've missed it. It felt soooo good, so damn good, I can't belive I haven't done it in so long. And no, I'm not talking about sex. I've got blue paint on my hands, black-ish paint on my shirt, but I'm happy... That's what a little bit of painting can do for me, what oils can do for me.


I didn't have any fabric to paint on, so I took a rougher paper and stretched it with duckt-tape. There's still a bit of work to be done to it, the moon isn't completely round where it's supposed to be (it's got like a corner to the left), and the colours aren't that great on it either. And I'll add some outlines of some naked trees to the lower left corner. Critisism is, as always, welcome.

Today was a good day, even though I was one minute late this morning. While at the mall, just outside the art suppliements store, J all of a sudden jumped out of nowhere and almost gave me a heart attack, then he asked me out for dinner. Yay! The part of the evening spent at home I painted, and talked with M about painting and where her design binder might be, and with D about wings and feathers. Condores are pretty impressive :)

Other notes: I can now do 8 real push-ups in a row! :D

Oils <3

Paint? Oils?

I wanna paint, so badly... If I leave now, I'll make it down to the art suppliments store before they close at 6 PM, and get some oils... Should I? I want to... Really really want to... Should I?

I've been sleeping

... and it's soon 5 AM. I've gone from not going to bed/sleeping a few hours in the morning to going to sleep at 7 PM-ish and acctually sleep, and be up in time. Can't say if it's good or bad, but oh well. I'm still kinda sleepy, even though I had like 8 hours of sleep. On the other hand I've goot DAD's cookies. And homework.

Wrote my physics departemental yesterday, it was too easy. Funnies part though was all the paperwork we had to go through before we could write it. Sign your name here, write that number there, read this... Then we come to the paper with the "rules", apparently you had to be able to prove your identity (we are 4 students in the class, and 200 at the school, our principal knows all of us), and prove that you've been a permanent resident of Saskatchewan for 6 months. I've been here for 5 months and some days. So I wasn't really allowed to write it. But the principal told me to do so anyways. Yay for breaking rules! :D

Other school-related stuff, apparently my drafting-teacher wants me and J (one of them) to go to Skills Canada (I got a 96% in it, so I guess I'm good at it) together, we work really good together even though we only talk and do no work, the work does itself kinda I guess :S Anways, that makes me happy, yet another thing I'll be able to add to my list of merites ^_^

For those of you that are not familiar with Drafting, you usually use a program called AutoCAD. Me and J was slightly bored one time, and wanted to do something else than the assignment we were supposed to do, so we came up with this :)

Had a slight breakdown yesterday, and I feel a little bad for J (the other one) who had to take it, but he did good and got me in a better mood, and I appreciate that he took the time to do so. Don't think he's reading this, but one can never know.

Math. Biology. Cookies.

*insert title here*

It's been a little while since I last wrote, atleast some day or so. And I won't write much today either. 'cause I'm tired and starting to feel sick. Great.

Overslept this morning, and was in a kind of bitchy mood all day, but that's what you get for just walking away from me. (but if I'm the one walking away that's just normal) Was a winter festival at the school tonight, with sleigh ride and free hot chocolate. Kind of cozy I guess, but cold. But inside the school it was warm and, uh, less cozy?

And now we're back to him saying he'll be online tonight, but he isn't, and he hasn't answered my texts either. Bitch. Can he ever do something he says he'll do?

Should take a shower, but I just wanna sleep. I'll do that in the morning. Lets just hope I'm not sleeping in again.

I want you to hold me.

New semester and being happy

New semester, new classes, new everything. I think it'll be good, I feel good. I even remembered some of the math from like atleast a year ago! And we got our final marks from last semester as well, didn't do too bad, I have to say. Highest mark was 96% in Drafting 10, lowest was 73 in Math A30. In between there it was 95% in Art 20, 84% in English B30, and 83% in Physics 12. Average is just above 86%, not bad at all :)

Also got to know how I did on the final in English, and the result was way better than I dared hope for. 86.4%! What made me even happier was that the teacher told me he really liked my essay, and my ideas on the subject. That, if anything, made my day. There are few things that can compete with someone acctually reading or listening to something you have to say, and then thinking about it and appreciating it.

The point of the essay (which was about a theme from Lord of the Flies) was that civilizations, or countries if you like, are like humans. They go through different stages of life, starting out as a kid, moving on to be a teenager, to finally become and adult. And all of these stages are neccisary, and trying to skip one of the stages can have devastating consequences, as shows in the book, where the boys tries to go from being kids to being adults. Unfortunaley, they are rescued before they get through the teenage-stage, so what their civilization would've been like we can't know, but it might've been working out eventually. To connect with the world today, I'd say USA for an example is a teenager, maybe starting to grow more mature now. Sweden, for an other example, is an adult. I can sit in Sweden and think USA is doing the most stupid thing ever, but if I'd tell USA I think so, would it listen? No. Does a teenager listen to its parents warning it about this and that? Usually, no. But the parents are there, atleast should be there, when the teenager is heartbroken and what not. Even though it didn't listen to them, they're there. And the teenager grows more adult with it. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody makes their own revolution. So does civilizations. (I managed to write around 5 pages on the subject, this is only a short summary)

Had a nice talk with a lot of people tonight, D, V, R, J... Today is a nice day :) I'm almost done with my homework (just finished up the biology, some crossword, Wikipedia helps lots), and only got some English left to read and questions to answer. Then sleep. Didn't sleep good at all last night, when I finally fell asleep I woke up with around an hour in between. That much for sleeping good after working out. Or maybe I'm just not used to going to sleep before midnight?

Was dress-like-a-rockstar-day today (yesterday), and because I'm such an ego, I'm gonna post a picture of me wearing the stuff. Becuase I felt good today, and still feel good.


Sweet dreams.

Boxing

Went boxing today, as a friend of mine said "Oh, 'cause that is romantic..." Started sweating pink after a while, since I dyed my hair the other day, looked kinda funny. Now I'm quite worn out and acctually a bit tired, so I'm gonna sleep. Might be a good way to get some sleeping pattern, boxing. Gonna go next time as well, and probably continue going. It feels so good.

Assemblage 23

Sorry. Because I love it. Because the lyrics are wonderful. Because I feel hit by them.

Over with

40 hours of not sleeping. A night full of studying, and two final exams. Guess I'm allowed to be a little tired. But now it's over with, all over with... Maybe more than just the finals?

Halfway through

Only a couple of more hours of concentrated studying (as if I can do that, ever) :D

And because not only one, but two, have told me they love this picture, I'll post it here:

And to A, thanks for talking with me tonight, I'm kinda bored to death and need to focus on something else than how to add and subtract rational expressions and what not (I know it's not complicated, but I'm lazy) :)

The night is still young

I'm around halfway through my math studies, got the final later this afternoon. And I still need to make the cheat-sheet. But hey, it's not even 2 AM, and I've got instant rice! (atleast for some tiny minutes more)

Can feel a headache coming, and I'm showing signs of having catched a cold. I really don't have the time for a cold. Why is my body relaxing now? The finals aren't done with, and there's still one more semester! But I guess since I didn't have one over christmas it's time for one now.

It's like -40 outside, just wanted to mention it. Why am I doing this? :S

Grow up

So now I'm supposed to grow up. Atleast that's what he says. Who's he to say that? Who's he to tell me to grow up when he's the one acting like a child, unable to be serious about anything?

But maybe I should grow up, in a good way. I just hope I didn't grew up in the wrong way already.

10 minutes

I think I broke my personal record today, in how fast I can go from being asleep until I'm in school. 10 minutes. And that includes a walk that in normal weather takes around 5 minutes. Now it was -25. Made it to school just when the first bell went off at 8.55, so I still had 5 minutes to catch my breath. Thanks J for calling me to make sure I was awake, I owe you one. Or two. Or many.

The final in English B30 didn't go nearly as good as I wanted it to, and it ended up with me more or less writing the last part in panic when it was 10 minutes left. But I guess I can blame it on being foreign, but I dont want to. Also got some old assignments back, and got to know the mark on my Hamlet-assignment: 85%. My over-all mark in English B30 is 83%. Still an A, but far away from the 92% I had by midterm. Guess D'll be happy now, 'cause he probably got way higher than I did, on both the Hamlet assignment and the finals. Guess I owe him that.

Tomorrow awaits nothing, since the final in Physics 30 is a departemental and is written the 26th instead. So I'll just go there, maybe sleep a little, maybe study a little, maybe just what we usually do during physics (read comics, comment on ads in the paper, poke each other and drink tea).

Almost forgot, some smart-ass stupid bitch got the not so brilliant idea to set of the fire alarm in the afternoon. Great. Send all the students out in the snow, it's only -22...

Now, I'll try to do math. Exam coming up on thursday. Not overly excited, so to say.

Random pictures

Because I have nothing better to do, and I already slept a couple of hours tonight, I'm gonna upload som random pictures, my pictures, I should add. (maybe I should make myself a tag of some kind to put on them..?)

Anyways. Comments are welcome. As usual.

'Cause I still don't know who gave me the candycane.

'Cause sometimes I'm goodlooking.

'Cause I like the night.

'Cause I like the moon and the trees.

'Cause it's beautiful.

'Cause I wear them each day.

'Cause red lights are boring but still kinda fun.

'Cause she's beautiful.

'Cause they are beautiful.

'Cause I always seem to end up there with my hostmom.

'Cause walks are good.

'Cause my eyes can be pretty, too.

'Cause we've got them at home as well.

'Cause I like my ear.

Finals

They start tomorrow. The anxiety is already over me, came after lunch today. I should've studied more, way more, I should've passed the re-exams in math, so maybe I would've got a higher grade, maybe more than 90%. Now that's out of reach for me. It might all be out of reach. Damn I feel stupid.

English first thing in the morning. 3 hours. 5 pages. About either Hamlet och Lord of the Flies. Think I'll stick to Lord of the Flies, don't really like Hamlet that much. In Lord of the Flies you can discuss things in another way, a more serious way, for me atleast. Remember that conversation I had with J soon a month ago, about just Lord of the Flies, and how we started talking about how countries are like teenagers. At first they try to be good, faithful to their parents. Then grow up, revolts, have their fights. Finally they hopefully settle down when they are grown up. USA is a teenager, always getting into fights. Sweden is an adult, staying out of fights, but still taking care of the kids when they come home bleeding. Just like a parent.

Got the math final on thursday afternoon, I should study, so I pass it, so I get a good grade on it, so I atleast get 85% or above as my final grade. And if I then do good in physics, and don't get any lower in english, art and drafting, I might make an average above 90%. And that would make me happy, that would make me feel good about myself. 'Cause right now there's really nothing that makes me feel good. I feel like a mean bitch, maybe because I am one. I'm not really doing anything good, nothing to help anyone else. And not doing anything to help me either. Eating junkfood, not studying, not getting the sleep I probably should get (3 hours/night is standard, and then around 3 hours after school as well), not doing any workout. But I might do that tomorrow. I've got a pair of runners now. I need to do the workout. Probably would be good for me to do the punching as well, get rid of some agression. Maybe I'll be a nicer person after that.

And see there, another long and uninteresting post. I'm a little too good at making them.

But I acctuallt did finish the Hamlet-assignment last night, and handed it in today. Only almost a month late, not too bad, right?

Nachtmar

Study? Huh? What? Oh right... I should do that I guess... BUT I DON'T WANT TO! >.<

Sunday afternoon

A difference of squares:

• has two terms
• the two terms can be written as a difference
• the first term has a positive coefficient
• each term is a perfect square
  

That's how much fun I'm having this afternoon. Except for coffe tonight. Unless it's snowing too much. Stupid snow...

Atleast I've got popcorn. Here's some for you, A:

Dreams a'la weird

I just woke up after less than an hour of sleep, and I couldn't keep my eyes open when I acctually fell asleep. Probably had the weirdest dream I've ever had, mostly because it was... drugged? Not saying I'm on drugs, but in the dream I were. There was something about flying around in the city in something that started out as a car with no driver, then that turned into a sleepingbag, with my stuffed animals in it, and also some old socks. My killer whale flew out of the sleeping bag for some reason, and my penguin tried pretty damn hard but I stopped it. It's me and a classmate who are flying around like this, in a sleepingbag each. We almost runs into a bus or semitruck of some kind, then we fly into some sewers. From the sewers we go into a spiral, faster faster faster, and then we're spit out on a messy basement floor.

From the basement floor we're suddenly sitting in some beds by a huge open window, and yet another classmate is there. The beds are pushed together for some reason. Then it's all of a sudden a party of some kind, and people, including me, are getting pretty damn high. I start fighting with a guy and his girlfriend (the guy is my classmate, as well), and I decide to leave. I'm trying to find my stuff. For some reason I brought my laptop and my SLR. I find my bag and the camera, but the laptop that were in the bag is gone. I tell the first mentioned classmate I intend to leave, and she gets all sad and tells me I shouldn't. What time it is, is changing between 1.37 and 7.09 in the morning. I make up my mind to call a cab and just go home and fall asleep and fall asleep and forget about everything. For some reason they've also told me all night to text a certain guy and tell him to come over, which I've refused to do, 'cause he was working that night. Then I wake up.

That's my dream for you. Now I just feel dizzy and lightheaded and what not. And yes, I'm sober. What's funny is that before I fell asleep I kinda felt like this as well. For some reason, I'm also a little too warm. Am I getting sick or something?

Finally finished

Finished the Art History Portfolio today, ended up at 33 pages (11 artists, 3 pages/artist). Since it should've been handed in before the holidays that's quite a relief. Now there's only the Hamlet-thing to finish, got another 2 hours of work on it I guess. But that's what the weekend's for :)

Can't really belive how fast this week went by. Wake up, going to school, going home, falling asleep, talking with people/hanging out with people, do homework when everybody else is asleep, sleep 1-2 hours, school...

Kind of proud over myself about today, didn't fall asleep when I got home, instead we shoveled the driveway (my hostmom got a pleasant suprise when she got home), and then I walked down to Gateway Mall and got myself a pair of runners. Watch out, I'm gonna get fit!

Todays big thanks goes to B, for getting me, K and J out of math class "They are gonna be in the student lounge with me and D, we're gonna play magic, it takes a lot of thinking and math! And Miss A isn't here today to help them study for the finals either!" I fucking love that girl ^_^

Now I'm just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for someone to get online. Maybe I should do some reading instead, I mean, might as well do something while waiting, eh?

Still 2 more to go

There never was any walk. Decided to sleep for 4 hours instead. Then, instead of finishing up my Hamlet assignment, I changed the layout here slightly. So now I've added the followers-thing, and if you feel that you should be on there, but are not, get to it!

And now, talking with J, I realise I sound like a control freak, who has no control over myself so therefor must have it over others. Maybe I should just stay away from people? I can't take someone having control over me, not even myself, but I need to be in control over others?

I also think I must admitt something. I've eaten "cheese" here, and I didn't die. It's a hard thing for me, and I've been fighting against it for almost 5 months, but sooner or later one has to lose the battle.

2 more to go

Every time I get home from school I feel sleepy. Doesn't matter how much I've been sleeping the night before, I'm always sleepy. Almost falling asleep here now. Has it something to do with the walk home from school? With being out in the cold and then all of a sudden being in a warm house? I really want to go out for a little walk, but I doubt I can do it. I want to sleep. I want to go for a walk. Can I do both? If I wait too long it's gonna be dark out, not too fond of walking around in the dark in this town. Or am I just overly scared because of what people have told me?

One thing is good though, the final exam in physics is not next week! That means I don't need to focus on that now, which is a huge relief. Got the Hamlet-stuff and the art-stuff, only two more artists to go! And finals in math in on thursday next week. Maybe I'll be able to breathe a little? Without panicing?

Sleep now, half an hour or so, then go down to the mall, find a pair of runners (gonna try to start doing some workout) and maybe a new bag. But I should try to fix the old one first. It broke pretty badly today. And it's been messing with me for a year.

Sleep.

Giving up

Seriously. I give up. For tonight atleast. Gonna try to get some sleep. Might wake up in time for school tomorrow, might not. Need to charge my cellphone. That means I have to unplug the laptop, that means it'll die eventually. I'm thinking too much about the wrong things. No homework done. I can do it in school tomorrow? Early tomorrow? I try to tell myself I can do it, but I'm starting to doubt it. Self control was it? I doubt I have any left. Feeling the panic coming now. Failing? Me? I'm scared.

Random walks in the night

I miss them. I miss all that has to do with them. J (how many J's are there anyways?). Talk. Walk. Tea. Cookies. The sunrise. We've got a lot to do when I get back, a lot.

Now all I have is random thoughts in the night, and random talks. But the talks are online, and there is no part of it that is walking together, drinking tea together, eating cookies together.

July. Walks. Mornings before sleep. Damn, I miss it. I miss my room. I miss the roses outside my window.

Now I'm sitting here again. With homework, undone homework. And a cinnamon roll I won't eat, it's raisins in it, I discovered it too late. But today was a good day. It was worth not doing any homework. Since I'm not sleepy yet, I consider not sleeping at all. Was a while since I got no sleep, sometime last year, before the christmas holidays. So I guess it's about time. I can be a zombie in school tomorrow, we're only doing reviews anyways.

Apparently someone thought it was worth taking picture of me in front of the computer and of my bum?

Still too lazy to come up with a title

So, never really went for a walk. I went to sleep instead. Woke up at around 7 PM (see, I use the 12 h system so you won't have to figure out what time 19 is!) and I've done nothing since. Talked with J a bit I guess. Study tomorrow. And I took some pictures as well, of which none turned out very good. Realised I need to lose weight if I'm gonna get the body I want to have. Isn't that a boost for my self estem? :)

I'll give you one picture though, of me, for like, uh, first time. It's only slightly edited :O

Now homework awaits. Or sleep. Decided to try not sitting in front of my computer and do nothing anymore.

I still want popcorn!

I'm too lazy (tired?) to come up with a title

Sleepy. Again. Still, I slept 5 hours after school yesterday, and then I went to bed around 2 am, with the alarm set for 7 am. Not that it woke me up, it never does. Guess I need a third alarm clock. But yeah, I'm sleepy. What's up with school making me sleepy? Or is it maybe eating that does it?

But I can't sleep now, sent a text with a possible plan and I need to get an answer. Else it would be a lil... awkward... (that's a funny word btw, wkw is an interesting combination) Should I go for a walk, need to pull some money out and I really wouldn't mind some coke or come cookies (preferably chocolate). It's not that cold out, and it's still some daylight left. Should I make a run for it? And I could use the walk... It's only -18 out anyways. But it's snowing. But snow can be kinda cozy to walk around in.

Sweden lost the icehockey match against Canada yesterday, J was nice enough to text me about it. And when I came to school today after sleeping in my principal asked me if I were still recovering from the defeat. I don't care about icehockey, or any sport at all more or less, but it's kinda annoying when people are telling you about it because you're of the nationality in question. What would've happened if Sweden won?

I want popcorn!

Snow, single, sleep

Finished the Act 1-poster at around 6 in the morning, only 4 more to go now. Didn't turn out too bad, I'm acctually kinda satisfied with myself :)

Only 4 more to go now! Uh... Yeah... And I'm more than halfway done with the Art History Portfolio! Should finish it up by the end of the week... Got physics and math to do as well. But I won't do any homework now, I'm too tired. Sleep, and maybe food before sleep.

And I'm single. I think I need it, get some air under my wings and stuff. It feels good.

It's snowing. It's been snowing more or less all day, but when I walked home from school an hour or so ago it was not much at all. Looked out the window now and woah, it's quite a bit of snow falling down from the sky. Yup, gonna put in more pictures. Be happy :D

No idea how much you can see on the picture, but it's snowing. And this post is kinda weird and has no real substance to it. But who needs substance? Not all the time atleast :)

Food. Sleep.

Munchkin Hamlet and cute penguins

I'm sitting here, in my cozy bed, trying to do homework. It's due tomorrow.

First off, there's the Art History Portfolio. I've got all the sources written down, and all the information, but I still need to write another 10 pages about artists and their art. It's around 14 hours 'til I have to hand that in.

Then there's the Hamlet assignment. We had a couple of different assignments to choose from, and I ended up choosing between writing a 10 pages essay and doing a poster illustration for each act. I chose the illustration. So now I'm turning Hamlet into Munchkin. Though not really exactly a game, but rather going Munchkin-style on the illustrations and humor. 4 cards for each act, 5 acts, it makes 20 cards. And I need to do the "headlines" for each poster as well. I'm done with the sketches for act 1 and 2, so there's 12 more to go, and then I need to do it big scale on the papers I'm supposed to hand in. This is due in 11 hours.















Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, now a level 2 monster!

You could ask me why I'm writing about doing homework instead of doing it, but I doubt you'd get a good answer. I'm lazy. And there's a very cute penguin demanding to have my attention. I bought it yesterday for like $3, it was sitting alone on the shelf in Walmart crying because noone had bought it for christmas and now had to be on sale. For some reason penguins are a symbol for christmas in Canada, it seems. Might have to bring that back with me to Sweden, since penguins, atleast the plushies, are the cutest thing ever (except for my catfish, that is).

Went for sunday-coffé today as well, to Turks this time. I liked the place, they had a mini-teapot for me! And they played Neil Young and Bryan Adams. So I fell in love with the place. It wasn't many people there either, and it was way more comfortable than Tim Hortons. Oh, and they had Star Wars going on the TV. But it was Episode 2, so it was not as good as it could've been. It's funny how we say "going for a coffé" when we drink tea respectively hot chocolate. Guess English havn't got the perfect word "fika" as we have in Swedish.

There's a risk of an update later on tonight, live with it. Not that a lot of people are reading this anyways. I know two for sure, that's about it. And they are even really bad at commenting. (comments makes me happy, I like being happy)

I'm a slut, how do you want me, on my knees or from behind?
MORE COMBICHRIST FOR THE PEOPLE!

Homework

If you are a chinese painter from the late 17th and early 18th century, and don't leave a self portrait, then you'll have to live with me doing one for you in MS Paint :)

The guy in question is Jiang Tingxi, not that anyone will have a clue what so ever who that is.

Sitting in the kitchen doing, atleast trying to do, homework. It's not going too bad, since I've written half a page, drawn one picture, and found a picture of a quarry close to home on google, in an hour or two. But then I've also de-decorated the christmastree and stuff, so I guess I have my reasons for being slow. Gonna need to go to the library tomorrow and find some sources there, that agrees with what I've found on the internet. Using only Wikipedia as a source is not good. I'll have to add some from National Gallery in London and stuff. Feeling a little bad for my teacher, since some of the sources are gonna be in Swedish, but he'll just have to live with it and trust me.

J came home last night, after being gone all christmas, it's gonna be nice to see him again on monday. Had a long talk with him in the early hours, and it feels good to know that he'll be there even if I hurt someone, because I have to. That's what I'm most afraid of, hurting one friend and by doing so losing my other friends. I need them.

Over to what annoys me today. People logging off just like that without a word. I mean sure I know his internet is fu*ked up disconnects all the time, but when I can acctually see the person logging off? (aka, running around in the room, and then leaning over the computer for a few seconds and then being offline and not coming online again) Guess I'm too easily annoyed and hurt and stuff, but still. We'll see what'll come out of this, I have no clue.

First post this year

So, it's 2009. I'll graduate this year, it's less than 6 months left and I can't realise it. But then again, I never realise things until I'm acctually there doing it. If even then.

New years was good, B came over and we fooled around with my camera. Played some Magic as well, and did some talking. Then after having taken alot of photos of my butt B fell asleep in a bed and I decided maybe I should head to my room and fall asleep as well...

Yesterday was good, too. Went to Tim Hortons, ran into a classmate, had a good time, had my green tea. The evening was spent watching movies, or well, only one because the other wasn't working in the PS2 (never rent movies, download them instead!) Decided on having sunday nights as our going-for-coffe-night, even though we drink tea and hot chocolate and not coffe :)

Today... I was sleeping. Woke up around 3 pm, recieved a phone call from some place saying they had a parcel for me, so I got dressed and went over there. Picked up the parcel, and it was the tee I ordered on behalf of Y, now I just need to send it to her. One good thing done today, and it's still 5 hours left!

Plans for tonight: Try to get the blue dye in my hair to be somewhat more even and do homework.

I want sunday.