Christmas?

I miss my family. I miss all that I'm used to have during christmas. This just feels... Weird... I feel guilty about not really enjoying everything, because the people here try to make it good, try to make me feel at home, they care. And now I'm more confused than ever before. Do I want this? Should I just leave it? Can I leave it now? I feel guilty about thinking about leaving. But it doesn't feel right. Still I'm afraid to hurt someone, so I stay, wait. Forgive me.