And I fell to pieces

I think my life hates me. If that's possible, I don't know. The last drop came today, ironic enough was it only a physics exam, and I passed it. But still...

I thought I was over with breaking down during classes when I was out of 9th grade and that stupid fucking school, but obviously not. Why is it that whenever we get an exam back, the teacher realises that he's marked the answer wrong on one of the questions. The other guys then gets the point for it, and I just lose mine. Great. 62% is not good. Spent lunch at the washrooms, redoing my make-up, spent 4th period with the counselor. She's nice, really is, and she reminds me of the counselor at my old highschool. Then I had to redo my makeup, again. 3rd time on one day I put it on, a little too much I think. Math in 5th, didn't write the exam. I was hoping I'd be able to do some studying yesterday, but no. So now I'm gonna write it tomorrow instead. So I should study. And I should write christmas cards.

And there's still the Hamlet assignment, and the Art History Portfolio. I don't want to. I want to sleep. Think I'm gonna go to sleep now, and just... sleep... Sleep is good when I don't feel good. I'm out of chocolate now. Not good. Hope I'll get some more later on this month. 3 weeks to my 18th birthday. Right now I don't wanna do anything then, just stay in bed. Celebrate 18 years of what? Failure? One thing was good about today, J gave me a hug. He's nice, and I needed the hug. Why does a hug always mean more when it's from someone who usually don't hug you?

There was this guy from the army outside the office during lunch today. I wanted to talk with him, to tell him what I think of war, what I think of sending people out to a certain death and still mourn them when they die. D stopped me. Again. Probably a good thing, might have gone slightly out of control considering my state of mind. But it makes me happy, messing with stupid people. Might get the chance to do that tomorrow morning, if I'm lucky. As if I will be...

V doesn't want to talk with me, or so I take it. Not that he wants to talk with anyone, but, it hurts. I had dreams tonight, about being home again, about summer.