Anxiety?

Yet another weekend is over, and as usual I havn't done ANYTHING of what I was supposed to do. Still got loads of homework, still need to do this and that. Feels as if all I'm good at is spending money. Should make a budget... I try to make one in my head, but there's always exceptions. I need this and that, and that and this. For once I want to sleep, and I'm not that tired, and it's only midnight. Maybe because I've realised I won't do anything I should tonight, so I might as well sleep instead? So part of me want to do what I should, and part of me want to sleep. Part of me is feeling anxiety over me not doing what I should, and spending more money than I should. Great.

I realised only some day ago what it acctually is I've been feeling every now and then for the latest year or so. When I looked it up, what anxiety really is. The description fits me perfectly. Shaking, sweating, easily annoyed (in my case I'm mean to everybody), my heart starts racing and I can't breath. Havn't felt it for a while, not since I got here, until friday. Before that I've had it every now and then, and I was hoping I'd left it at home, I didn't want to bring it. I'll just have to try to keep in control of myself, I guess. Maybe look into it when I get home. Starting to realise I've got a lot of stuff to take care of when I get home, and I feel sick just thinking about it. But atleast I'll have one home, not two, not as it's been for the last 11 years... Eventually things will turn out good, eventually. Just need to give it time, need to survive through it. This is my vaccation.