37

They phoned from school today. They are worried about my attendance.

I'm home today. Feeling a bit feverish, and my wisdom tooth that's coming up hurts like a bitch, my mouth's all swollen and I can barely use it for speaking, even less for eating.

Sure, there's a connection between attendance and grades, in most cases. But hey, my average is 91%! Is there really a need to worry? I guess I'll have to talk to them tomorrow or so, just explain to them. There's a lot on my mind right now, I'm homesick as *** knows what, I'm stressing out, and some other stuff as well, and it's all making me anti-social. I don't want to be around people. Talking to people online is working fine, but it's the physical contact that's making me freak out. I just want to scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!", but I don't, I keep it oppressed.

By going to school I expose myself to others, and I have no safe place to hide from them, from it. So when I don't feel good, as of today, I just stay home instead. In normal cases I can handle it, but when something's just hurting so damn much it is so much easier to be pushed over the edge. And I fear having that happen in public, it's happened too many times in public already. I just have to talk to my teachers/principal/whoever I need to talk to, and make them understand it. One way or another.

Home in 37 days...