I woke up at 8. Yesterday. Pm. 28 hours ago. After 2½ hour of sleep. Great, isn't it?
Physics exam coming up on friday, math exam on tuesday next week. Art History Portfolio and Hamlet assignment to finish before christmasbreak. Lord of the Flies assignment-ish for tomorrow. But my brain can't think now. Gonna take that shower and then try to sleep. Sleep is sometimes good. I admit it. But usually it isn't.
An odd thing happened today, I ate breakfast. For the first time in forever. But then I never really did sleep either, so I had the time to do it.
For some strange reason my mind tells me it's weekend tomorrow, that it's friday today. I can always wish, but I have to get through 2 more days of school, yay.
Trying to tell myself not to panic, panic is no good. I've got good grades in everything, and both physics and math is getting easier now than a month ago. Atleast it feels so. I hope it is.
Osammanhängande rappakalja, skit samma.
27 November 2008
24 November 2008
Ice-attack
Sunday evening. This last week went by so fast, it's getting kind of scary how time just seems to fly away from me.
Went to the movies with B on friday night, ofcourse we went to Twilight. We were there around 2 hours before the show was on, and minuts after we arrived the lineup was acctually pretty big. Honestly I don't get the hysteria about it, the book wasn't THAT good, but I guess, teenage romance + vampires... And it's not as if I had anything better to do those hours, so why not be there in time and get a good seat? The movies was acctually really good, and, very sexy, without having any sex at all in it. Didn't care much for the book, but I'll probably download or buy the movie... After the movie was over we just about had the time to run over to shoppers 5 minuts before they closed at midnight. Get some snacks for the rest of the night and then a cab home. (last time I went to the movies with B, a cop run me over on my way home). True Blood for 2 hours and then we fell asleep.
More or less slept through the rest of the weekend, with the exception of sunday afternoon. Accidently got stabbed by D in the tigh while playing with swords, though not bad and I only realised when I was preparing for the night. But I guess we're even since I later on broke his glasses (he tickled me, so it's not only my fault). Ate way too much, my stomach is a little too full now and doesn't like me.
As usual I should've spent the weekend doing homework I never do during school weeks, but hey, I can do that next weekend, right? (as if...) It's only some math, and we're not having an exam tomorrow so it should be O K, and there's art, but I'm at 94% so if my rough drawing is a day or two late that shouldn't matter that much? Reminds me I have to talk to someone in charge about next semester, I really really really wanna take Art 30 (can someone remind me please *hinthint*)
Oh, yeah, I don't like ice. It attacks me and makes me hurt my knee and wrist!
Starting to miss the summer a bit, it was a good summer. And the only ice was the ice in the drinks and up in the mountains.
Went to the movies with B on friday night, ofcourse we went to Twilight. We were there around 2 hours before the show was on, and minuts after we arrived the lineup was acctually pretty big. Honestly I don't get the hysteria about it, the book wasn't THAT good, but I guess, teenage romance + vampires... And it's not as if I had anything better to do those hours, so why not be there in time and get a good seat? The movies was acctually really good, and, very sexy, without having any sex at all in it. Didn't care much for the book, but I'll probably download or buy the movie... After the movie was over we just about had the time to run over to shoppers 5 minuts before they closed at midnight. Get some snacks for the rest of the night and then a cab home. (last time I went to the movies with B, a cop run me over on my way home). True Blood for 2 hours and then we fell asleep.
More or less slept through the rest of the weekend, with the exception of sunday afternoon. Accidently got stabbed by D in the tigh while playing with swords, though not bad and I only realised when I was preparing for the night. But I guess we're even since I later on broke his glasses (he tickled me, so it's not only my fault). Ate way too much, my stomach is a little too full now and doesn't like me.
As usual I should've spent the weekend doing homework I never do during school weeks, but hey, I can do that next weekend, right? (as if...) It's only some math, and we're not having an exam tomorrow so it should be O K, and there's art, but I'm at 94% so if my rough drawing is a day or two late that shouldn't matter that much? Reminds me I have to talk to someone in charge about next semester, I really really really wanna take Art 30 (can someone remind me please *hinthint*)
Oh, yeah, I don't like ice. It attacks me and makes me hurt my knee and wrist!
Starting to miss the summer a bit, it was a good summer. And the only ice was the ice in the drinks and up in the mountains.
21 November 2008
Why some people shouldn't be teachers...
Another day's over, and it's time for the usual slightly anxiety-ridden reflections. Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? Why did I do THAT? Should I do that? Should I try to talk with him? Stupid questions spinning around in my head.
Woke up late, as usual. For some reason I never wake up when the alarm goes off between 6.30 and 9 in the morning. Never. If it's earlier or later, then sure, but never during that interval when I really do need to wake up. So I got late to school. The only time I'm not late for school is when I don't sleep.
There was an incident in art class today, which really got to me. I was not really in the best of moods, probably because I really don't like the assignment we're working on. We're supposed to draw a scene symbolising our every-day life, egyptian style. Why I don't like that I don't really know for sure, but I've got a few theories. It might be because we have to expose ourselves a little too much, we are only teenagers, we are vulnerable (but ofcourse we pretend we're not). And to draw a scene out of our life, we need to think about our lives. Think about what is important to us. And that's not something you want to do during class. It's not something we like doing at all. Atleast not some of us. I almost had a mental breakdown trying to figure out what to draw, trying to explain to the teacher why I was stuck. Because I have no interesting every-day life, not something I want to tell the world about.
There's this guy at my table, I never can remember his name (which annoys me, because I really should). He might not be the brightest kid in school, but he's nice. I like talking with him, and for some reason I see myself a couple of years ago in him. And I don't think he's feeling to good, I don't think he's got too much of a self confidence. And he's come to the point where you can't really hide it. Been there, done that. The teacher asked what he was drawing, and he didn't want to tell. Why not? the teacher asked. Because I don't want to tell you, you've got nothing to do with it. Why not? the teacher asked, again. Because I'm in hell right now. And then the stupid teacher starts talking about the river you travel on, and that if an art class is hell, hell isn't that bad really. I wanted to step in, to say that what hell really is, is very individual. It's not impossible at all that an art class is hell for one person. But the teacher couldn't see that, at all, and continued going on about that this isn't hell, yada yada yada. I was so mad, why couldn't he just drop the subject? Why couldn't he just move on. The guys voice changed, the way it does when someone is about to cry, willingly or not. I heard that change, and I'm suprised if the teacher didn't. If he didn't notice, he really shouldn't be a teacher. And if he did notice, and didn't care, he's a stupid bully. Either way I lost all of my respect for that teacher in that moment. Probably should add that this isn't the regular art teacher, but one we've got for this assignment only.
Question is what I should do. Should I talk with this guy, whose name I don't even know? Or should I just let go of it? Or hope that I'll be around the next time it happens and then say something? Big reflection of the night, that is I guess.
Otherwise today was a pretty good day, was kick-ass this evening, two-headed giant is funfunfun, and my deck is good for it. Atleast when your starting hand is Vein Drinker and Blood Cultist, and then mana only.
I realise now I have a math quiz tomorrow, so I probably should look into that. And physics. And that big Hamlet-assignment, maybe it's time to get started on that...?
Stupid thoughs, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Woke up late, as usual. For some reason I never wake up when the alarm goes off between 6.30 and 9 in the morning. Never. If it's earlier or later, then sure, but never during that interval when I really do need to wake up. So I got late to school. The only time I'm not late for school is when I don't sleep.
There was an incident in art class today, which really got to me. I was not really in the best of moods, probably because I really don't like the assignment we're working on. We're supposed to draw a scene symbolising our every-day life, egyptian style. Why I don't like that I don't really know for sure, but I've got a few theories. It might be because we have to expose ourselves a little too much, we are only teenagers, we are vulnerable (but ofcourse we pretend we're not). And to draw a scene out of our life, we need to think about our lives. Think about what is important to us. And that's not something you want to do during class. It's not something we like doing at all. Atleast not some of us. I almost had a mental breakdown trying to figure out what to draw, trying to explain to the teacher why I was stuck. Because I have no interesting every-day life, not something I want to tell the world about.
There's this guy at my table, I never can remember his name (which annoys me, because I really should). He might not be the brightest kid in school, but he's nice. I like talking with him, and for some reason I see myself a couple of years ago in him. And I don't think he's feeling to good, I don't think he's got too much of a self confidence. And he's come to the point where you can't really hide it. Been there, done that. The teacher asked what he was drawing, and he didn't want to tell. Why not? the teacher asked. Because I don't want to tell you, you've got nothing to do with it. Why not? the teacher asked, again. Because I'm in hell right now. And then the stupid teacher starts talking about the river you travel on, and that if an art class is hell, hell isn't that bad really. I wanted to step in, to say that what hell really is, is very individual. It's not impossible at all that an art class is hell for one person. But the teacher couldn't see that, at all, and continued going on about that this isn't hell, yada yada yada. I was so mad, why couldn't he just drop the subject? Why couldn't he just move on. The guys voice changed, the way it does when someone is about to cry, willingly or not. I heard that change, and I'm suprised if the teacher didn't. If he didn't notice, he really shouldn't be a teacher. And if he did notice, and didn't care, he's a stupid bully. Either way I lost all of my respect for that teacher in that moment. Probably should add that this isn't the regular art teacher, but one we've got for this assignment only.
Question is what I should do. Should I talk with this guy, whose name I don't even know? Or should I just let go of it? Or hope that I'll be around the next time it happens and then say something? Big reflection of the night, that is I guess.
Otherwise today was a pretty good day, was kick-ass this evening, two-headed giant is funfunfun, and my deck is good for it. Atleast when your starting hand is Vein Drinker and Blood Cultist, and then mana only.
I realise now I have a math quiz tomorrow, so I probably should look into that. And physics. And that big Hamlet-assignment, maybe it's time to get started on that...?
Stupid thoughs, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
20 November 2008
Playing with fire?
For random unknown reason I got a song stuck in my head right before I planned to go to bed. Brolle JR - Playing with fire. I know I liked the song when it came out a couple of years ago (after a little research I realise it was 6 years ago), but forgot about it until now. I think we have the single laying around somewhere at my mothers house, not sure though. Next thing I knew I was on youtube, finding the song, and then I was at TPB, downloading it. Don't you just love when it takes 3 minutes to download something? :D
Now I'm going to bed, I think. Might read for a little bit, question is, Vampire Hunter? Cheysuli? Or maybe Before They Are Hanged? I SHOULD finish the Cheysuli-chronicles, started reading them in 8th grade, am in 12th now. So I guess that's the choice then? Or...?
Now I'm going to bed, I think. Might read for a little bit, question is, Vampire Hunter? Cheysuli? Or maybe Before They Are Hanged? I SHOULD finish the Cheysuli-chronicles, started reading them in 8th grade, am in 12th now. So I guess that's the choice then? Or...?
Always on my mind
I'm impressed by myself, I acctually did something I was supposed to today! Health service-papers and copies of passport etc are put on the mailbox, and so is the birthdaypresent for my mother. And I didn't fall asleep in school. And I studied during both physics and math. And I was in time, even though I was tired as hell this morning.
Still confused about what to do, since obviously I can't have what I want. Very annoying to be stuck with these thoughts all day, my head is spinning and I'm feeling sick. My feelings for you doesn't change because of it, I still want you, still need you.
Should do some homework, probably should do alot more things than I'm doing. But atleast now my catfish is the wallpaper on my cell, and Sex, Drogen und Industri is my alarm tone. And Soul of Ice is my ringtone. Thought my cell needed a bit of updating. I havn't had it for 2 years even, and I'm already thinking of buying a new one. But that'll have to wait, I need a HUGE aquarium and a gaming computer first.
The t-key on my keyboard is acting weird, it takes alot more effort to press that one than to press the others, I hope it'll fix itself eventually. Honestly I'm tired of having to send this laptop back and forth to get it fixed for this and that...
Still confused about what to do, since obviously I can't have what I want. Very annoying to be stuck with these thoughts all day, my head is spinning and I'm feeling sick. My feelings for you doesn't change because of it, I still want you, still need you.
Should do some homework, probably should do alot more things than I'm doing. But atleast now my catfish is the wallpaper on my cell, and Sex, Drogen und Industri is my alarm tone. And Soul of Ice is my ringtone. Thought my cell needed a bit of updating. I havn't had it for 2 years even, and I'm already thinking of buying a new one. But that'll have to wait, I need a HUGE aquarium and a gaming computer first.
The t-key on my keyboard is acting weird, it takes alot more effort to press that one than to press the others, I hope it'll fix itself eventually. Honestly I'm tired of having to send this laptop back and forth to get it fixed for this and that...
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